***continuation of the journey of how I got diagnosed
I’m off to college at this point and I continued to show passing out episodes every so often. I was told by the doctors to remain calm and try not to get too excited about things which could bring on vasovagal syncope symptoms. Sure, that’s super easy to do while trying to balance school, a part time job, recently getting engaged oh yeah and planning a wedding! But, surprisingly during my college years I only passed out a few times.
As the later years of college passed, I started to show paralysis after my episodes. So now my episodes are evolving into something new and different. Great, what does this mean? These paralysis episodes are new and foreign to me. I’m aware of my surroundings it’s just that I can’t move anything other then my eyes. I can’t even speak clearly. I may attempt to speak, but it comes out incomprehensible to others. I am pretty much like a rag doll. If you were to lift my arm up and let it go it would immediately fall to the ground. This can’t be the new normal for me I thought, that was twenty years ago. I saw my neurologist who sent me to a specialist. He told me I had an issue with my autonomic system which is the cause of this paralysis and the passing out. Each time you get a diagnosis, you are relieved and you believe in that dignosis Because they are the professional. Of course, tons of meds are prescribed which will also “cure“ me or at least decrease my episodes.
I continue on with my life and into the workforce. I definitely saw a pattern once I started working (as a Special Education Teacher) and the episodes were linked to work. There were a few rare occasions where it would happen at home, but for the most part, I was at work. I was the queen of trips to the nurses office and 911 calls. My paralysis would last up to an hour to 8 hours post passing out. Each time I’m taken to the ER and seen, I’m either treated as a possible stroke patient or my strength started to restore enough by the time I was seen and all my scans were always clear. I always left with no new answers. Each time, no answers! Each time, clear scans! Why is this still happening, I’ve been keeping calm like I’ve been told? I was the most fit during this time in my life. I was eating well, working out regularly, lifting weights because I had a wedding to get ready for! How can someone fit go into such a rag doll state like this?
In my previous Blog I mention FND (Functional Neurological Disorder). Having FND is said to be linked to having some sort of abuse, trauma, anxiety, depression, chronic pain and/or a few other issues as well. Right now, I still don’t fit into the FND diagnosis. But soon, that will change and I will fall into that category that will make it seem more believable.
My story will continue as trauma and chronic pain enter my life over a course of many years.
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